#also the implications are staggering

[angelhummel]

opening the floor for discussion alksfjslk but what do you think is (one of) the most tragically underrated song from the show?? for me i'd say 3 by tina sam and joe bc it slaps beyond belief

[the-prima-vista]

I'm trying to play through FF16 but it's honestly such a struggle for me. The combat isn't my sort of thing, and I feel like everyone talks at like... half the speed of normal dialogue so I just lose interest in every single cutscene.

[maddie-grove]

Just obtained a bunch of Fisher Price Little People to add to my collection! I can’t wait to come up with an in-universe reason for the Green family to consist of one grandad, six dads, and nine children.

[meat-loving-meat]

Valdemaran mind magic makes directed energy weapons viable send tweet

[rutadales]

my deep shameful secret as a cfoolish blog is that i do not care for eternalduo ceret does nothing for me Sorry

[doiliedaze]

Reverse Ridin’

Warnings: riding Sev’s strap, orgasm denial, praise, implications of overstimulation

Genre: smut

A/N: I’ve been feigning to write for Sevika but I’m so nervous so here we go ๑ˊૢᵕˋૢ๑ also I really wanna try this position 😙 kinda mean! Sevika and her strap is referred to as her cock.

───────┈ · ·

The lights were dim, the rain softly plopping against the window, your moans echoing against the walls.

“You’re doing so good f’me” Sevika whispers, her thumb tracing your tramp stamp. The praise causes your hips to stagger and Sevika scoffs, “you’re that easy?”

“no” you moan trying to keep a steady tempo on her cock.

“My girl can go faster than that yeah?” She emphasizes with a thrust ripping a tired moan from your throat. You nod continuously trying to focus on going faster as she watches you fuck yourself. She moans at the sight of you, her breath heavy and her clit throbbing. Your back arches more and you brace yourself as you feel your orgasm pooling in your tummy.

“Sev please” you cry

“You’ll cum stop whining” she states as she slaps your ass. Your hips slowly give out so Sevika takes matters in her own hands. She grabs your hips and bounces you up and down on her cock despite your cries. “You cry because you wanna cum, you cry as I help you cum, you just want to fucking cry.” She mocks.

She moans as she sees your arch deepening and she swears she can feel you clenching around her.

Your body shakes as waves of pleasure takes over you. “Vika!” You repeat as you cum, Sevika grinding into you as you ride out your orgasm as did she.

Sevika runs her hands up and down your waist till her hands find your hips again, “you did so good baby.”

She helps you adjust yourself in a more comfortable position, till your nuzzled into her chest and tangled in her.

───────┈ · ·

A/N: it’s like 4 am but i woke up in a cold sweat horny for my wife so I hope it’s coherent 🙏🏿

Taglist: @manfuckthisimout

(Dividers- @dollywons)

[mercibabe]

the best part of Star Wars is that they decided to keep the accidental incest subplot from Arthurian legend

[reignpage]

Stairs or Brooms?

10:45am By Y/N

Good morning Students of Eden!

The last week has been hectic, certainly a rollercoaster none of us remembered getting on, but we sure don’t want to get off. 

Or do we?

Since according to an informant, who will stay anonymous, a cheerleader and a member of Omega Phi were getting it on behind the old stairwell of the Psychology building. 

Sound familiar?

Well, that’ll be because it isn’t the first time a cheerleader has taken a wild ride behind some stairs. 

You’ll remember a campus-wide email sent in June of last year detailing the complaints members of the cleaning staff reported on ‘mysterious remnants staining’ the floors and walls which they found ‘extremely difficult’ to clean out. CC’ing the coach of the cheerleaders, none of us missed the implication. Ending with a reminder of the Code of Conduct we all agreed to upon acceptance of our offers, the good people of EdenU were left wondering, who were the culprits creating these stains?

Having conducted a poll, linked here, there ended up being no majority consensus on what it could have been, but a sizeable number of the student population, and beyond (thanks to the people of Eden City, much love), theorised it was ‘liquids of love’, as a Holistic Health researcher put it nicely. 

We never did get an answer. 

Until now?

Another informant kindly entered the Psychology building with a magnifying glass and pipe -- two fundamentally important ingredients to a good snoop -- and investigated for us. Their exploration led to a discovery of a used condom. 

That’s a present he’ll never forget. 

Though, I don’t recall if they ever reported what they did with it. Let’s just hope it isn’t a repeat of BlueToothGate — it still gives me nightmares. 

Now we have two incidents of inappropriate uses of stairwells, is it still too early to wonder, what is it about stairs that gets people going?

Perhaps it’s the curves of the bannister as it rounds over the corner, or is it the creaking of the third step that drives people wild? 

It’s entirely possible that we’ll see a rising trend of stairwellphilia and I, for one, cannot wait. 

Speaking of Philias, the rumoured cousin-lovers both named Phil, after 78% of you voted, have been sighted once more. This time in the broom cupboard of the Literature department. Was it a moment of convenience or something more?

Is there also a rise in broomphilia?

Should we be concerned?

Will the school ever make a stand?

So many questions but only one certainty:

We say NO to cousin-love!

Or, at least, 52% of us did. 

I do not want to know why it was such a close call. But I’m sure you’ll tell me anyways in my Insider’s Line.

On to more pressing matters; how is our List looking this time?

Drum roll please….

Gojo stays at number one!

Anyone surprised?

Before someone starts, no, I am not biased. The number of confessions regarding him are staggering and that has not changed, only grown, since he entered the fold. 

Having thrown yet another smashing bash, this time in Genesis Park, the president of Alpha Phi Delta secured his spot as the most desired man on campus. People reported the utter genius of using the skate ramps as beer pong tables and his quick thinking to hide the beloved pug mascot of our rival, Eden Met, down the slide. 

The picture taken by his friends cuddling the adorable puppy in his shirtless arms has, I’m sure, been printed out and pasted on every surface of many girl’s bedrooms. 

No judgements here. 

The silent but deadly man of campus, lovingly known as Hot Nerd Nanami, has risen up the rankings after many months of stagnation at 13th to 4th after he was seen abandoning his frumpy blue sweater in favour of a plain white tee. Boring and basic on anyone else but downright scandalous and drool-worthy on the physics student.

As some people have confessed, this is the most bare we've ever been able to see of him. Is it the beginning of a new era?

Or was it just laundry day?

Whatever the reason may be, we are sure glad it happened.

Apart from the usual, one other interesting change in our List is Vice President Sukuna’s rank — having been at 5th last time, he’s been bumped up to 2nd. And it wasn’t because of a shirtless picture he posted on Insta, for once.

No, this time, there are videos circulating the Bulletin which displays him, in the background of Gojo's disciplinary hearing, eyeing someone up and down like they were the tastiest wagyu around. This is the most daring, most expressive, most human? we’ve ever seen our star basketball player. 

But just who was bringing that out of him?

Send in your guesses, people!

It’s time to play our favourite game:

Who Are You Looking At?

-------------

Some people wanted to see a example of Toji's reader's writing so I busted one out for y'all x

Not proofread btw

[de4dlyniightshade]

꩜ QUEEN OF HEARTS

꩜ PAIRING: spencer reid x afab!reader

꩜ RATING: +18, mdni

꩜ WORD COUNT: 3.8k

꩜ WARNINGS/CONTAINS!: smut, public sex, sub!virgin!spencer, cumming in pants, thigh riding(ish), fingering, praise, a little exhibitionism, getting caught(kinda).

꩜ PROMPT: sneaky fooling around with sub spence on the job

© to de4dlyniightshade. no translations/reposts.

[WARNING!] - explicit sexual content! mdni!

A/N: i have mixed feelings about this but i'm posting it anyway bcs i feel like it. also this is proofread but i'm a moron and blind so don't get your hopes up:3

Spencer was, gently put, dumb. Now, obviously, he was intelligent, very, very intelligent, but you can be both in rare instances, and Spencer was a rare instance.

He was completely unaware and blind to his looks, which was obviously due to his childhood of being relentlessly bullied and tormented, causing him to overlook his appearance and how truly attractive he was, no matter how many people told him, flirted with him, or hit on him. I mean his nickname was literally "pretty boy" for a reason, but he just thought it was a sarcastic joke.

"All alone, handsome?" You smiled, noticing Spencer tucked away in a conference room all on his own, surrounded by files, your voice making him look up from the one he was reading.

"Oh uhm, yeah, it just got a little loud out there; I work better in a quiet place," he explained, a tight-lipped smile on his face before he looked back down at the file, furrowing his brows as he scanned it.

"Everything okay?" You asked at his expression, worried that he was struggling and needed a break, which he was terrible at, always overworking himself for the sake of the case, even though he could barely think straight after working himself to the bone for days.

"Yeah, I just- I can't find any connection." He sighed, dropping the file on the table before leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair.

"Need some fresh eyes?" you offered, closing the door behind you to help drown out the loud chattering in the police station you were working in, slowly making your way over to him and hoisting yourself onto the desk beside him, not missing the way he swallowed, his eyes flicking down to your thighs before looking away again.

"Y-Yeah, sure," he murmured, sliding the file over to you before dropping his hands to his lap to fidget with his fingers, picking at the sides of his nails nervously.

"Spence, stop," you warned, looking at him with knowing eyes. It was a bad habit you'd noticed he had, sometimes picking his skin so much that it was red and raw and sometimes bleeding. You'd told him many times to stop before he hurt himself, but it never really worked.

"Sorry…" he mumbled, flattening his hands on his thighs before looking away from you again, scanning the room to distract himself. Your eyes landed on his hands, noticing a familiar red substance at the side of his nail, making you let out a sigh.

"Spencer, you're bleeding; gimme your hand," you sighed, placing the file down beside you and holding your hand out to him, watching his eyes flick between your face and your hand a few times.

"The amount of pathogens passed through holding hands is staggering; it's actually safer to kiss." He stated, it was completely innocent, but the way your stomach churned wasn't. You'd had a thing for Spencer for a long time, but he was just so naive that he couldn't see it; today he'd see it.

"Is that an offer?" You teased, quirking your brow at him as his eyes widened, realising what he had said and who he said it to—a very attractive woman who was sitting right in front of him in a small, hidden room with the door closed and the blinds drawn, his cheeks flushing at the implication.

"N-No, I was just- I- " He stuttered, averting your gaze and swallowing thickly as you smiled at his flustered state, watching as he lifted his hand, placing it in yours in an attempt to make the whole conversation stop.

"Oh Spencer, does that not hurt?" You tutted, furrowing your brows at him at the raw, bleeding skin on his finger, your thumb stroking the back of his hand, absentmindedly.

"A little..." he spoke softly, lowering his head slightly as you sighed.

"Hold on, just a second," you said as you got up from the table, making your way to the door where you'd left your bag, unzipping it and digging through it for a moment, perhaps bending over to show a little bit of your butt from under your skirt on purpose before you finally pulled a bandaid from one of the pockets and made your way back to him.

"Good thing I'm prepared, huh?" You smiled, sitting back on the desk, but closer this time, with Spencer immediately holding his hand out to you for you to take gently, opening the bandaid and carefully wrapping it around his finger, forcing yourself to hold back a smile as you raised his hand to your face, placing a gentle kiss on top of the bandaid, leaving a faint lipstick stain on the tan material.

"Better?" you asked sweetly, holding back a smirk at his pink cheeks, the blush spreading to the tips of his ears, and you just couldn't help yourself. "Oh Spencer, are you feeling okay? Your cheeks are really red," you feigned concern as you reached out to press the back of your hand to his cheek, feeling the heat radiating from his face.

"Y-Yeah, fine," he said, his voice cracking as he tried to sound sure of himself and failing as his cheeks became redder at your touch.

"Are you sure, honey?" You asked sweetly, slipping in the petname just to see him gulp and avoid your eyes, wetting his lips nervously as he shifted in his seat.

Spencer couldn't even answer you, completely avoiding looking even close to you as you shifted closer to him, your eyes boring into him as you saw a very faint sheen of sweat lining his temple.

"Am I making you nervous?" You asked in a low tone, quirking your brow at him as you saw his eyes widen a little at your question, his lips parting as he let out a shaky breath, gulping down his nerves as he looked up at you shyly.

"M-Maybe a little," he admitted bashfully, looking away from you again, staring down at his shoes as you felt lust stirring in your stomach at the sight of him so nervous, admitting that you had an effect on him.

"Y'know, when I tell you that you're pretty, I mean it, don't you?" You asked him, looking at him with doe eyes as he looked back at you with a similar expression.

"Y-You do?" He sounded genuinely surprised, as if he didn't believe you.

"Of course I do. I mean not to sound like I'm in love with you or anything, but you're beautiful, Spencer, and I mean that." You spoke softly, standing up to shift closer to him, standing between his legs and leaning on the desk in front of him, forcing him to look up at you as you towered over him.

"T-Thank you," he breathed shyly, moving his hands to rest between his thighs and covering his crotch with his forearms as he looked anywhere but your face.

"Move your hands," you ordered suddenly, Spencer finally looking at you, brows pulled together slightly at your sudden change in behaviour.

"W-What?" He stuttered, gulping as he shifted in his seat, his hands still planted between his parted thighs, licking his lips as you heard the faint sound of his breathing picking up.

"I said, move your hands," you repeated, this time more sternly, pulling your lip between your teeth as you watched his hands twitch, taking a shaky breath before he hesitantly moved his hands to rest on his thighs, dropping his head in slight humiliation that he'd been caught.

"Oh my, I make you more than nervous," you stated in a sultry tone, Spencer letting out a breathy whine just loud enough for you to hear. The sound was all you needed to have you standing up abruptly, moving to place your knee between his thighs, your hands lifting to rest on either side of his neck.

"Can I kiss you, pretty boy?" You asked breathily, your thumb stroking over his pulse, feeling his breath hitch in his throat at your question before he gulped, nodding quickly.

"Use your words," you teased, watching as his tongue darted out to wet his lips, visibly nervous under your gaze.

"P-Please," he spoke under his breath, looking up at you with wide doe eyes as you smiled down at him, wordlessly leaning towards him, stopping just shy of his lips for a moment just to feel him lean towards you slightly to chase your lips before you finally closed the gap, feeling a whine vibrate against your lips.

Spencer's kissing was slightly clumsy and clearly inexperienced, desperately trying to keep up with you as you kissed him with fervour, letting your teeth graze his bottom lip, your hands trailing up from his neck into his hair at the nape of his neck, your fingertips massaging his scalp as he keened into you, his hips rolling upward, the motion piquing your curiosity, shifting your knee forward to press to his crotch, a moan slipping into your mouth as he bucked his hips again.

"That feel good, handsome?" You pulled away just enough to ask him, your lips brushing his and his hot breath fanning your lips as he panted, his eyes still closed.

"Y-Yeah," he breathed, making you smirk as you pressed your knee harder into his clothed cock, a whimper falling from his swollen lips as he rutted his cock into you, moving his hands to hold your thigh, squeezing your flesh in an attempt to compose himself, pushing himself down to the chair to still his movements.

"Keep going," you husked as you moved to press your lips to his neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses over his pulse, the feeling making him moan as he couldn't help but rut against you, his cheeks flushed at what he was doing.

"W-what if someone-" he stuttered, cutting himself off with a whine as you grazed your teeth on his skin, licking over smooth skin.

"What if?" you said teasingly, your voice low and sultry as you lowered one hand to hold his that was still on your thigh, slowly moving it up and under your skirt. "Touch me," you breathed into his ear, a moan falling from his lips before he gulped, inching his hand higher and higher until he could cup your clothed core, gasping at the heat that radiated from you.

"W-What do I do?" He asked meekly, embarrassed that he didn't know how to touch you properly and that his inexperience only made you want him more.

"Well, first, my underwear need to be out of the picture." You laughed breathily, Spencer blushing and letting out a shaky breath as he used his fingers to move your damp underwear to the side, the fact that he didn't even remove them making you clench around nothing.

"Now touch me." You breathed, biting down on your bottom lip, watching as he gulped before ever so gently pressing his fingertips to your cunt, his middle finger slipping between your folds, resting at your slick entrance, his eyes widening at the feeling, his mouth dropping open slightly.

"Y-You're so...wet," he practically whimpered, not even realising how attractive what he said was, his words making you moan quietly, "inside baby," you breathed, taking his wrist into your hand to guide him, holding his hand where he needed to be before he slowly pushed his middle finger upward, his fingertip slipping into you and making his jaw fall slack as your walls surround his finger.

"God, you've got the perfect fingers for this, baby," you practically moaned, letting your head tip back as you still held his wrist.

"I do?" he asked, his voice slightly whiny as he gazed up at you.

"Mhm, fit so nicely inside me," you murmured absentmindedly, completely forgetting that this wasn't some raunchy dream you were having, your words making him moan low in his throat.

"Curl your finger towards you for me, love," you instructed softly. Spencer immediately followed your exact instructions, curling his middle finger gradually until you let out a quiet gasp, stopping his movements completely.

"D-Did I hurt you?" He asked worriedly, his behaviour and concern making your heart swell.

"N-No baby, no, felt good, k-keep going," you breathed, stroking your thumb over his wrist as you moved the other to rest on his shoulder, balancing yourself so you could move your leg to the outer side of his thigh, spreading your legs for him so he had more access.

"You can add another, baby," you encouraged softly, knowing that he wouldn't do it on his own out of fear of hurting you in any way.

"O-Okay," he breathed, swallowing nervously as he pulled his finger out almost fully, leaving just his fingertip in before he pressed his index finger in beside it, slowly pushing them both in at once, watching your face intently as your jaw fell slack, eyes closed as a breathy moan slipped past your parted lips.

"F-fuck, baby," you mewled as Spencer curled his slender fingers into you on his own accord, his hips rolling into your thigh at the sound of your voice and the feeling of you clenching around his fingers.

"G-Gimme your hand," you asked, holding yours out to him as he placed his free hand in yours with a slightly confused expression that quickly became a completely infatuated, lust-filled expression as you let go of his wrist to hike your skirt up around your waist, exposing the sight of his fingers buried in your cunt.

"O-oh my-" Spencer tried to speak, his words turning into a whimper as you bucked your hips slightly, his fingers pushing in deeper, the sight of them disappearing into you making his cock throb against your leg, hips stuttering against his will.

"J-Just stay right there and make this motion," you explained breathlessly, placing Spencer's thumb on your neglected clit and motioning circles with yours to show him what to do, watching him nod shakily before he made one tentative circle, watching how you reacted, the gasp you let out showing him that it was good, so he repeated the motion again and again until he had a pace going.

"Oh, Spence, g-good baby, so good, c-curl your fingers at the same time for me," you breathed, Spencer immediately doing as you asked, curling both his fingers into you until they were pressed to that soft spot inside you. The way you moaned when he reached it made him realise that spot was what made you react, so he experimented a little, uncurling his fingers before repeating the motion, a louder but still hushed sound falling from your lips as he did.

"Such a quick learner," you mewled as he continued his steady motions, his thumb circling your clit in time with his fingers. Your praise made him blush and rut into your thigh harder than he had before, and your curiosity piqued.

"You like when I praise you? tell you how good you are?" you asked, the way Spencer whimpered and fucked into your thigh again giving you your answer, a smirk tugging at your lips.

"Be a good boy and go faster for me," you instructed, your words of praise making him completely pliant, instantly picking up his pace and making you almost double over as the pleasure shot through you, the motion making your leg slot right between his thighs, leaving no distance between your thigh as his painfully hard length straining against his pants, a pathetic whimper ripped from his throat as his hips bucked desperately into you, this time at a constant pace, Spencer unable to hold back from chasing any kind of friction.

"So pretty fucking my thigh, baby, you like humping my leg like a good boy?" You cooed, bringing your hand to his jaw and letting your thumb stroke over his plush bottom lip, watching as he let his mouth open, as if inviting you in, and you just couldn't deny, letting your thumb slip past his lips and into his warm mouth, clenching around his fingers as he wrapped his beautiful lips around it.

"Oh my, such a good boy," you praised, your voice breathy and low as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you, the way Spencer's fingers consistently curled into you, his thumb never faltering on your clitoral area, his pace matching that of his hips constantly fucking your thigh, his brain going into autopilot as he sucked on your thumb.

"I-I feel- weird," Spencer whimpered around your thumb, just barely audible, but you heard him, his words making you want to coo at him, knowing exactly what the feeling was.

"You're gonna cum, baby boy; it's okay; gonna feel good; just let it happen." You spoke soothingly, pulling your thumb from his mouth and watching as he opened his eyes to look up at you with a doe-like expression, his lips parted and wet as he let out a constant stream of whimpers and moans, his hips stuttering as he desperately fucked your thigh, chasing his orgasm as he brought you to yours.

"F-fuck baby, you're gonna make me cum; keep going; just a little more for mommy." The word slipped out without a thought. You were so caught up in the moment that you didn't even think about it until Spencer let out a choked moan, delivering a particularly hard thrust onto your thigh, your jaw falling slack at what slipped past his lips.

"M-mommy, 'm gonna c-cum," he choked out, letting out little gasps and whimpers as tears spilled from his eyes. He looked utterly gorgeous, completely fucked out, and cumdrunk, so much so that he was calling you mommy and humping your thigh, the whole thing pushing you so close to the edge.

"Oh, baby, so fucking pretty. Gonna cum, you want that? You want mommy to cum on your pretty fingers?" You husked, watching as Spencer nodded mindlessly, clearly not even knowing what he was agreeing to.

"Oh, o-oh, m-mommy! mommy, I can't, I'm-" Spencer stammered, cutting himself off with a choked sob as his hips stilled, cum spurting into his underwear as his whole body tensed, including his hands, his fingers curling into you as far as they'd go, harshly pressing to your sweet spot as his thumb pressed into your clit, the sudden pressure sending you over the edge with a muffled moan, gushing around his fingers as your walls spasmed and thighs trembled.

Spencer continued to shallowly fuck your thigh through his orgasm, little whimpers and whines falling from his lips as he completely soiled his pants, cum seeping through to your thigh and the warm, sticky liquid smearing on your skin.

"Oh, baby, you made such a mess of yourself," you cooed, pouting down at him as you cupped his cheeks, his eyes looking up at you completely dazed as he whimpered.

"You did so well for mommy," you said softly, stroking his soft skin with your thumbs as he pouted, completely fucked out and submissive.

"Okay, baby, slow for me; you can take your fingers out now and we'll get you cleaned up, okay?" You encouraged him sweetly, Spencer nodding as he slowly, like you'd instructed, pulled his fingers out of you, the feeling of his skin dragging against your sensitive walls making you wince slightly.

Once Spencer slipped his fingers fully out of you, he couldn't help but fixate on the slick, shiny liquid that coated them, watching as it created strings between them when he spread them apart, and he just couldn't resist. Your jaw dropped as you watched him bring his soaked fingers to his lips, burying them in his mouth and moaning around them as he tasted you.

"You like how mommy tastes, baby?" You asked, smiling to yourself as you watched him clean every last drop, nodding with his fingers still in his mouth.

"Sticky," he whined once he pulled his fingers from his mouth, shifting in his seat awkwardly. "...and cold," he whined harder, looking up at you with big eyes as if begging you to do something.

"Okay, baby, let's clean you up," you smiled, fixing your soiled underwear and shimmying your skirt back down before planting your foot back on the ground and scanning the room.

"There's no tissues in here," you sighed, furrowing your brows as Spencer whined harder, pressing his thighs together desperately.

"D-Don't like it, mommy," he sniffled, making you turn quickly to see him with teary eyes and pouty lips. He was completely submissive, which was a problem you'd deal with later; right now he needed you.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay; don't cry," you soothed as you cupped his cheeks, watching as his bottom lip quivered slightly. "Mommy's going to think of something," you reassured him, taking another look around the room. An idea springs to mind, and he's not going to like it.

"Okay, you're not going to like it, but it's the only way, okay?" You told him, making sure to talk softly to him so as not to make him think you were being mean. Spencer was sensitive as is, but in this state? He needed the most care.

"O-Okay," he replied hesitantly, curious about what he wouldn't like but also slightly worried.

You let go of his face to turn around and reach over the desk, picking up Spencer's, now stone cold, coffee cup and turning back to him, seeing the dots connect in his mind at what you were planning, the whole idea making him whine but nodding nonetheless, knowing it was the only cover-up that wasn't going to be too suspicious.

"I'm going to spill this on you, and then we're going to go out there; I'll tell them I knocked it over and I feel terrible, and then we're going to go back to the hotel and get you changed, okay?" You explained your plan fully, making sure he was comfortable with the whole thing.

"Okay…" he mumbled, knowing that this was about to be unpleasant and impossibly stickier, but on the upside, the hotel wasn't far, and he got to spend some time alone with you away from work, so it was worth it in the end.

"Sorry, sweetie," you winced as you poured the liquid over his lap, watching as he jumped at the cold feeling seeping into his clothes, feeling terrible about making him uncomfortable.

"Alright, let's go. I don't want you sitting in wet clothes for too long," you said as you quickly placed the cup back on the desk, taking a Spencer hand in yours to help him to his feet and leading him to the door where your bag was, hoisting it onto your shoulder and swinging the door open. Your eyes immediately meeting hotch looking at you from a desk not far from you.

"I spilled Spencer's coffee on him; thank God it was cold, but I feel terrible. I'm gonna give him a ride to the hotel to change; we won't be long," you explained quickly, all but dragging Spencer through the station to the exit, not giving the team time to tease or make jokes.

"How dumb do they think we are?" Derek snorted to the team once you were out of earshot, the others shaking their head and agreeing with him as they continued their work.

@cancersunthatsit @mindfullycriminal @reidsdaisies @iluvreid @teachugger69 @queermaxwooo @olives-and-sunshine @ac0511 @unimportantweirdo @criminalmindswife @deluluforu @busybeingstrange

(if you wanna be tagged when i post fics just lmk!)

[cravingpepsimax]

ok no one asked but i did get a few likes + a rb on the post so here's my modern 30s ford

there are some important things to note about ford:

ford would've been born in the 90s

ford would still have been a friendless outcast

ford would still be intelligent and have an interest in the paranormal

there were approximately 45 million people using the internet back in 1996. the chances that the pines wouldn't have internet access at some point while ford was growing up is low. people who are lonely are more likely to use the internet frequently, since that's where they're getting a lot of their social interaction. filbrick would probably promote this, too -- he's focused on success and the internet's booming, he'd probably want his kid to be well-versed on internet stuff. hell, my parents have never been anywhere near filbrick's level, and they felt the same way, which is how i grew up with unrestricted internet access.

this is all to say that ford is -- at least in spirit -- a neet. not even your typical brand of chronically online, this guy regularly uses 4chan (specifically, i could see him liking the /sci/, /x/, and /tg/ boards).

think about it! so much internet shit comes from 4chan, it's inevitable that he'd immerse himself into it if he's online all the damn time and is interested in weird paranormal shit. i imagine stan's grown used to a lot of his 4chan weirdness atp

(to clarify -- this is pre-bill. ford just looks like that because he doesn't spend time taking care of himself. he lives in the basement. which reminds me: canon ford is literally a basement dweller isn't he LMAO)

the stancest implications are staggering, since 4chan is pretty cool with incest, if not outright pro-incest at certain points.

this also creates the hilarious feelings realization moment where stan's panicking, freaking the fuck out because oh my god he has feelings for his twin, while ford -- due to years, possibly a decade+ of 4chan use -- doesn't really gaf LMAO

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

it’s past midnight and i need to sleep but more importantly 

I need to talk about Mags Flanagan from the Hunger Games

Listen. Listen. She might be a minor character who dies halfway through the book she arrives in. But her story is fucking fascinating. 

First of all, since she’s 80 years old during the 75th Annual Hunger Games, she would have been 5 when they started. That means that she’s the only victor we know of that’s guaranteed to have memories of the beginning of the games, not to mention the rebellion itself.

Second, there’s a promotional poster that has a photo of her Victory Tour and the Implications it accidentally has are staggering

her expression and the fact that they dressed her in a military uniform with medals is captivating in its own right but. She’s the victor of the 11th Hunger Games. That doesn’t sound like a big deal but it is.

The 10th Games, featured in The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes, took place in a literal arena. They were the first Games to feature sponsorships and betting, which meant they were the first Games where a tribute’s ability to play to the camera mattered. Lucy Gray, their victor, did not have a victory tour.

Mags Flanagan having the 11th games means that she was the first tribute to know that winning over the audience was a factor from the minute she was Reaped. She was the first tribute with a Victory Tour. It’s likely they she also may have been the first tribute to fight in an arena of the kind that’s shown in the actual Hunger Games trilogy.

So she goes from a witness to the fall of the rebellion and the Capitol’s new horror, to a record-breaking and possibly crowd-favorite Victor. That’s already a lot and we’re only 20% through her life.

She then went on to be a seasoned mentor for Four, possibly shaping it into a Career District. She played the Capitol’s games, while eventually becoming a rebel conspirator.

Speaking of the rebellion-Her district’s victors were far more onboard with fighting against the Capitol than any other Career District. If not for Lyme from District Two (shoutout to Lyme from District Two), Four’s victors would be the only career district victors that actively plotted against the Capitol. Why? When did this start? What was Mags’ hand in it?

I have a million questions about her. Mags Flanagan appreciation please

[moonlitdesertdreams]

Thankful

A/N: Everyone wanted more soft Astarion, so how's traumatized instead? Tags: Astarion Ancunin, Astarion, BG3 Astarion, BG3 Imagines, Astarion x OC, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Reader WARNINGS: Canon-typical blood, mentions of grieving/loss. ACT III/ 'THE PALE ELF' QUEST SPOILERS Summary: You comfort Astarion and talk about emotions after the events at Szarr Palace.

Word count: 2.1k+ (GIF credit to @silverformymonsters)

Leaving Szarr Palace is both a weight off your shoulders and the biggest burden you’ve carried since this adventure started. Cazador is dead, and Astarion is free as last. No master, and no more being used as a means to an end.

 But it’s never that simple, is it?

Shadowheart and Lae’zel, mercifully, take Astarion’s second wave of heart-wrenching wails, after all the spawn were set free, as their cue to leave. You give him space as he cries and wait until it’s only a soft whimper to approach. He’s on his knees at that point, Cazador’s bloody body inches from his. The daggers still sticks out of the vampire lord’s chest, begging to be used once again. 

You come to a stop behind Astarion’s left shoulder and let your fingers barely brush his skin. For once he feels warm, filled with anger, denial, fear and vulnerability. When he doesn’t brush you off, you press more firmly, moving to the front of his body. Astarion’s hands creep up to your hips and use them as leverage to stagger to his feet. It isn’t until he’s upright that he makes eye contact and breaks your heart into two. 

Blood runs in macabre trails down his skin and clothes, puddling on the floors around him and his fallen master. His eyes, normally alight with mischief and mirth, are downcast, swollen and dripping with tears. The pain is apparent, tied together with confusion and grief for the end of an era, even if it was depraved and lonesome. 

“... I should be happy.” He whispers, pinching his eyes shut. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Oh, Astarion.” You murmur, reaching to envelop him in your arms. 

Your vampire crumbles, arms wrapping tight around you to the point you’re fairly certain you’re not getting enough oxygen. Astarion clings to your clothes, to any concrete fragment of reality that can ground him from what he’s been through. His face buries itself into the crook of your neck, hiding the tears from your prying eyes. One hand comes up to cup the back of his head and strokes his blood-stained curls. 

“I-I… I feel numb. Empty.”

Keeping him close is the only thought in your mind. It’s not the time to delve into the implications of grieving an abuser. You decide it’s best to get back to your lodgings above the Elfsong Tavern to let him have privacy instead of being surrounded by the exact place causing him so much pain. 

And a long journey it is. Past the Gur leader Ulma waiting at the dais, and through the bustling streets of Baldur’ Gate.

Astarion barely makes it into the washroom before he collapses, and you just do your best to keep him on his feet. 

“Here, here. Sit down and I’ll draw you a bath, yeah?”

Astarion drops on the floor where you’re lowering him. You think he nods, but don’t stay long enough to confirm it. The other members of your rag tag team are dotted about the lounge area when you walk in and beeline straight towards Astarion’s chest of clothing. 

Karlach is the only one brave enough to approach you, tapping long talons nervously against her leg. 

“Well? How’s he doin’?” 

“As well as can be expected…” You sigh and sit on his bed, fresh clothes in one hand. “It’s a complicated situation. He hated Cazador, but the man was also some of the only constant interaction Astarion had in damn near two centuries.”

“Sometimes I fell empty, not having orders and all. Not having something constant that tells you where to go and what to do.” Karlach rubs her arms and shrugs. “Then I remember freedom and how much that means. I’m done being bound to some wretched leader. But there’s still a spot that feels empty. It’s healing, but it takes time. Hells, mine’s gotten better just having all of you around.”

Her words kick your brain into gear. “Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Karlach.”

Much to your surprise, Astarion’s already in a warm bath upon your return. You close the door behind you and slide the lock over, ensuring privacy for you both. The vampire’s eyelids only lift slightly when you drop his clothes onto the fireplace hearth and drag a wooden chair close. 

“That was fast.” You observe and nod towards the water. 

“Mhm. I caught Gale on his way up from supper. He waved his fingers around and made it work.”

You’re thankful for Gale’s presence and quiet affinity for the vampire, as it would’ve taken you twice as long manually. 

“You don’t have to sit here, you know. I’ll be alright.” Astarion says quietly. 

“Is that you nicely asking me to leave?”

His answer comes quickly. “No. I just don’t want to be a burden.”

The words are like a shot through the heart. “You could never burden me. No matter what.”

Astarion opens his eyes then. “Not even with a century of fucked up emotions? Trauma, as I’m sure you’re thinking?”

Ah, he needs the direct approach. You begin undressing, tossing your belongings in a messy pile on the floor. 

“Fuck off and move over.”

Astarion stares at you and blinks comically before sliding over. 

Once naked, you climb into the still-steaming water. There’s not an over-abundance of room in the tub, but enough that you can both put your backs against opposite sides and face each other. His long legs stretch to either side of your bum while yours remain crossed beneath. With both of you inside, the water easily rises above your chest, licking gently at sensitive collarbones instead.

“Talk.”

He sulks, but you can see the redness in his eyes and the swelling beneath. “And what should I talk about? How I’m not feeling as free as I should despite killing my slave-driver? I don’t need a psychic to tell me something is wrong with me.”

Astarion’s anger is familiar and raw, defending the vulnerable emotions swirling like a whirlpool in his gut. You don’t flich at its bite, nor retreat from its bark. It only rolls off your shoulders, dripping like rain right back into the bathwater. 

“Yes, exactly that. You’re allowed to be upset. To be sad. Cazador and his necromancied skeleton guard were the only constants in your life for a long time. And now they’re gone. You’re allowed to grieve that loss. Even if it feels wrong.”

He draws in a breath, water rippling around his bare chest. “It feels atrocious. After everything he’s done - I’ve done- killing him should be a relief. Joyous, even. And instead I feel like this.”

You reach a hand onto the table to grab soap. Its smell is a pleasant break from blood and gore, and you start towards Astarion with it in hand. 

“You’re still in shock. Everything we saw and did in that dungeon, all those people you knew. It’s natural to be sad and feel guilty.” You lather up your hands and bring them up to his neck, starting a slow and cautious massage. “Releasing them into the Underdark was the best chance they had to survive… and the best way to redeem the sins forced upon you.”

He leans into your hands as they rub the soap into his chest and shoulders. “I suppose it was.”

“Turn.” You tell him softly. He complies, drawing his legs to sit cross legged and face away from you. 

Knowing it might be easier to hear your sentimental words while facing away, you lean into his ear. “No matter what, I’m proud of you. You’re a hundred times the man Cazador ever was.”

Astarion heaves a breath at your words, scarred back rising into your hands as you continue to spread the lather across his skin. You pretend the horrific rune isn’t there, doing your best to prevent another angry outburst His shoulders hitch when you start scrubbing at his hair and gently cupping water to wet his curls. 

“I think I’m glad it’s over. I just….” He’s at a loss for words and flounders. One hand waves aimlessly in the air. 

“Need time?” You supply, gliding your hands across his trapezius. 

One of his strikes upwards like lightning, grabbing onto yours and squeezing. “Yeah. Time.”

You use a small cup from the tray to rinse his snowy curls without getting soap in his eyes. He hums at the warm water rolling down his scalp, and spins to face you as soon as you’re finished. 

“Tav?”

You’re leaning to grab the soap when you pause to look at him. “Astarion?”

“Will you come to bed with me tonight?” Astarion stops and corrects himself. “Just to keep me company.”

“Of course I will.” 

Much to your surprise, Astarion pushes himself through the water until you’re chest-to-chest. The liquid swirls and sloshes, splashing onto the floor and no doubt dripping onto a table at the tavern below. He draws your close, arms winding around your waist and pulling you into his lap. 

You smile and wrap your legs around his middle, ignoring the discomfort due to limited space. Astarion’s head finds its place on your shoulder, nose brushing against the delicate side of your neck. His cool skin is a reprieve against the steamy bathroom. You nuzzle his damp curls and rub his back softly. 

“I’m glad you didn’t stick to your original plan when we slept together that first night.” You hum, “You’ve become quite important to me on this journey.” 

“How could I have? You’re too perfect.” Astarion’s breath sends goosebumps shooting in all directions from the joint of your shoulder. The feeling is similar to that of his bite, but less intense. 

It hits you that he’s probably famished, not having fed on you the night before and being partially drained by Cazador’s profane ritual. Not to mention the amount of strain that’s been put on him both emotionally and physically in the last few hours.

You brush your hair away from your neck. “You need to feed,”

Astarion lifts his head. “That wasn’t what I was-”

“I know. But you’ve been through a lot.” You insist, rolling your head to the side. “Humor me.”

“I suppose I could be tempted.” Astarion’s eyes darken, and he shift back in towards your neck

His cool breath washes over your skin, and combined with the water it’s so chilly that it’s almost numb while he prepares to sink his teeth in. You feel his nose brush your skin, seeking out the delicate vein carrying the liquid he needs so desperately. He marks his target with a gentle kiss, and one hand holds your hip as he bites down. 

Ice shoots through your veins, spreading slowly from collarbones to belly button, and eventually your toes as he drinks. The freezing quickly turns to ecstasy, shooting arousal into every corner of your body though you know it's not the time. Your hand knots in Astarion’s hair, unconsciously encouraging him to keep going. Somewhere in your brain, you realize this is how people fall so easily to vampires. With a blissful numb that rivals the best Opium and a feather-light sensation overtaking all your limbs, what wouldn’t someone fall for?

But luckily, your vampire would never let you fall.

Astarion’s fangs pull away from your skin but his mouth remains on your neck, lapping at the weeping blood until it stops. You’re woozy for sure, and allow yourself a few moments to be dead weight in his embrace. 

“I apologize, darling. I got carried away.”

You shake your head and press a kiss to his chin. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Are you going to be able to navigate back to bed?” He asks, tipping his chin towards the shared space. “While you understand me, I’m not sure the others will be so friendly about my choice of dinner.”

“I’m willing to pay the barkeep for the private room across the hall for tonight.” 

And you do, without thought. Anything that provides Astarion with comfort is worth the price for you. So you both trek across the hallway, leaving the bathroom mess for morning. Exhaustion has completely taken over after Astarion’s bite, and you take a moment to wrestle with the sheets until you’re able to climb under them.

“Comfortable, darling?” Astarion asks as he lays down. 

“Delightful.” You reply, “Now get some rest.”

Astarion does as you say, but keeps you within arms reach at all times. He might be having trouble with his feelings towards Cazador and the missed opportunity for power, but he’s thankful. 

Thankful for his choice, and thankful for you.

As always, if you enjoy please like/reblog and check out my links for more :)

Masterlist | Send me ideas

[collapsedsquid]

97% of firms in India, 96% of firms in Indonesia, and 91% of firms in Mexico have fewer than 10 employees. Of these, most are just a single owner-operator, or perhaps a household enterprise. 55% of employment in developing countries is self-employment, rising to a staggering 77% in sub-Saharan Africa. These individuals operate firms, producing goods or providing services. Indeed they operate most firms. If we want to enable firms to grow, how should we think about these self-employed people? One possibility is that self-employed people are “micro-entrepreneurs.” They would like to grow their enterprises, but don’t have the resources to do so. This is the premise of microfinance, the most popular development intervention of the 2000s. Microfinance is the practice of giving households small loans that they can use to set up or grow a home business. If self-employed people are really microentrepreneurs, then the key to firm growth is giving them more access to capital. However, many different lines of evidence suggest that this view of self-employed people is inaccurate, and that it is more accurate to think of them as workers looking for wage employment than as entrepreneurs.  In developing countries, self-employed people transition to wage employment at similar rates as unemployed people — and earn similar wages when they do. This isn’t what we would expect to see if self-employed people intended to grow their businesses as “microentrepreneurs.” In that case, they would be reluctant to quit their enterprise and take a wage job. This is exactly the behavior we see in rich countries, where self-employed people transition to wage employment much less frequently than unemployed people, and do it for higher wages.  Microfinance studies also reveal that microloans have very little average impact on household or business outcomes. Most businesses run by an individual or a household are just not designed to scale. All of these facts point to self-employed people behaving more like unemployed workers than like entrepreneurs — which is to say, looking for jobs rather than aiming to create them. If self-employed people act more like unemployed workers than business owners, that implies that we should not design policy to bolster the growth of microenterprises. These microenterprises are desperate measures in the absence of wage employment, and will melt away if and when formal-sector firm growth creates more jobs. Formal-sector firm growth is key to making developing countries grow. Another urgent implication of this fact is that there is an unemployment crisis in developing countries that isn’t captured by official statistics. The typical approach to measuring unemployment is to ask whether people want to work but are unable to find any opportunities to do so — including self-employment. By this measure, the official unemployment rate in developing countries is 5% and 6% — around the same as in developed countries. However, if self-employed people are unemployed “in disguise,” this number could be much higher. One study estimated that at least 24% of self-employment during India’s agricultural lean season occurs solely because workers cannot find jobs. If we (loosely!) extrapolate this to a sub-Saharan African country with 77% of workers being self-employed, then the true unemployment rate jumps from 6% to 25%! Even if only 50% of workers are self-employed, then the true unemployment rate is still 18%. That level of unemployment is a catastrophic failure, and a crisis that cuts against both poverty alleviation for individuals and aggregate growth. 

[sunderingstars]

simulated universe addendum: ship of fools

— i found yet another occurrence after i posted my other simulated universe analyses, so here it is (this time from the unknowable domain)! watch in real time as i become absolutely obsessed with the implications !!

— written during 2.6

— word count: 3k, list format

— cover art. jumping right into it: the red / orange masks & a suspiciously aha-mask-looking shadow implies that the masked fools may not be just fanatical, but directly supported and endorsed by aha themself (or at least a part of them). also, note that the fool is bowing with one hand, something that sampo often likes to do. (i don’t think the fool on the cover is sampo, though.)

— the rewards are interesting, for reasons i’ll get into later. for now, i just want to point out how the options are staggered, with two giving you negative curios and the last one giving you specifically a “shining trapezohedron die.” they are also broken into three rounds separated by dialogue, meaning all options come in sets of two. the order does not change.

— the masks are also listed quite neatly here: sinister, ridiculous, masquerade, fox-faced, intact, and broken. each set seems to contradict itself — sinister versus ridiculous, masquerade versus fox-faced, and, most notably, intact versus broken.

— introductory dialogue: before the options appear, we the player and trailblazer (assumed to be the addressed “you”) are shown swimming in the belly of something called the “joyless beast.” surrounded by “humorless particles” in the “sea of impassivity,” and are invited onboard the ship of fools by a lost masked fool. apparently, he has been tricked by others into crossing the sea, and now finds himself drunk and attempting to get his bearings.

— note: while i’m not sure this makes sense, i wouldn’t rule out the possibility that this fool is aha. as mentioned at different parts in the occurrence, they seem to be running the “ship of fools” — i.e. a very large, plural collective that could be seen as representative of the real-life organization — the tavern can be heard even if it physically makes no sense to be there, the fool’s mask changes back and forth “in the blink of an eye,” they’re drunk (similar to the masked fools boundary equation), and they are the one conveying these many stories about the masks to us. they seem to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the goings-on of followers of the elation, even remarking on how a joke is “unfunny” at the end. paired with the very aha-looking shadow on the cover, and i’d say we’ve got ourselves a theory.

— however, it is strange that aha would find themselves lost or tricked, but perhaps that just comes with the territory. they often co-mingle with mortals, after all, and if they’ve spent enough time with the fools it’s possible one of their own children decided to make a haha funny by sending them hurtling into the literal concept of “jokeless.” a concept, after all, can only be defeated by another concept. anyways!

— my main interests here are the specific names of objects and places — “joyless beast,” “humorless particles,” and “sea of impassivity” — and the tavern we hear despite there being nothing behind the door.

— the names give some good insight into what contrasts the elation; lack of joy, lack of humor, and impassivity are all things that seem to counteract the effect of jokes, rendering them null. interestingly, it may give some insight into sampo’s nihility status as well, since “impassivity” and “nothing” are the domains of ix. it may be that sampo is trying to counteract the effects of elation within himself, or even within others.

— the tavern is also intriguing to me, since it is specifically mentioned to be heard despite there for certain being nothing behind the door. it may truly be only laughter that floats by on stomach acid, but i also think it is interesting to consider that the masked fools’ tavern may be able to move itself in an otherworldly way, popping up in new and exciting places where it makes no sense to be.

— sinister & ridiculous: the sinister mask, which grants the player an annihilation component, is described by the fool to have belonged to a ferocious monster that instigated riots through lying. on the other hand, the ridiculous mask is about someone incredibly adept at auctioning off intangible things like gravity and nuclear force. as a result, many businessmen across the cosmos want to “flay the hide from his flesh” (wow!), and even though the option says you’ll get cosmic fragments, the text is garbled and the player receives two negative curios instead.

— in this case, the sinister mask seems to be straightforward; you get what you want. however, the jumbled text on the ridiculous mask is nothing more than a lie, giving you something different than expected.

— both masks seem to represent two separate people, using different pronouns and professions to distinguish the individuals. the true contrast comes with the nature of the masks themselves, with one being “sinister” and one being “ridiculous.”

— dialogue: pretty straightforward, more chaotic masked fools shenanigans. one thing i will note, though, is the specific use of the word “imperfectly.” with the emphasis on perfection in the *perfect* grand challenge occurrence and the later emphasis on “pristine” in this very same one, i’d say there’s a connection here. with how the fool may be aha (or symbolic of them in some way), maybe they really do have a preoccupation with “perfection.”

— masquerade & fox-faced: the masquerade mask references a “ball for the entire universe” filled with multicolored masks, making a very specific comparison between the laughter and a virus in the aether network. it also ends with the line “who ever said an in-your-face joke isn’t a joke?” and grants the player a scepter. then, the fox-faced mask is said to be a “scarlet mask” that infiltrates via disguise. it heavily alludes to feelings of lost personhood and performance before giving the player two negative curios.

— again, there seems to be some contrast, with the masquerade mask favoring “in-your-face” jokes and flashy colors and big opulent balls and the fox-faced mask favoring “infiltrating via disguise” and acting and being part of a play. while there are similarities in performance, masquerade is much more in the light of it all than the fox-faced mask, which stays humming in the background.

— i am not sure who the masquerade mask is meant to represent (perhaps another character we’ll meet later on), but i strongly believe the fox-faced mask is referencing sparkle. it has her name written all over it, from the disguises to the plays and performances to even the name “fox-faced” itself. additionally, “if you wear a mask for too long, maybe you’ll never be able to take it off” is an entire theme with her character, since her many masks represent her loss of personhood and jumbled identity.

— (it’s also important to bring up how the masquerade and fox-face masks may even be alluding to the same person; i.e. a potential “before” and “after” or different sides of sparkle we maybe haven’t seen, one side taken to the extreme.)

— the jumbled text makes a comeback, this time with sparkle’s mask. much like the first time, the player is lied to, and instead of receiving normal curios, we receive negative ones.

— now onto the main course! as you and the fool try to make a break for it, two last options arise: an intact mask or a broken mask.

— intact mask: this is a very cryptic joke, perhaps the most cryptic in the entire occurrence. it is stilted in small bits, mentioning “sharp-tasting collections,” “pristine white complete masks,” and “breaking magnificent mirages.” “lies are not the unique properties of the fools” also implies someone from a different organization or mode of existence; potentially someone not part of the fools at all. it gives a few examples of “truth,” as well, like revealing conspiracies and exposing politicians.

— while i believe this mask could be referring to many characters (perhaps ones we haven’t even met yet), i think it may be referring to a group rather than a single person:

— aha stuffed toys. although the mask in the option is singular, the masks mentioned in the joke are plural. this invocation of plurality rather than singularity leads me to envision that the “aha stuffed toys” as an entire group may be mentioned here — well, the “intact” ones at least. this would align with “lies are not the unique properties of the fools,” which i take to reference how the fools are not unique due to the existence of other, lying beings of elation; this would fit with mini-aha dolls who lie in service of their creator, but are not a part of the fools. additionally, the specific examples given in the joke could be examples of different dolls choosing what kind of chaos to sow, as they have “time for leisure” that allows them to, well, basically be absolute rabble-rousers in aha’s image.

— “they all say truth is above all, but they cry like a mourning actor when the truth is revealed” may reference the nature of the dolls themselves. perhaps they are unaware of their purpose or the nature of their existence, feeling panicked and grief-stricken when they realize what they were really made for. there is even the possibility that none of these dolls are meant to survive long; they may all be simply treading water until aha decides it’s time for the next drink.

— speaking of which, “sharp-tasting collections” may reference the cracks and edges of broken dolls, which could potentially turn into a “sharp taste” of pain aha drinks (symbolically or otherwise) like in the masked fools boundary equation. what if i cried???

— bing-bing! heart transplant mention — ties to the “organic heart” curio in curio hacker. perhaps all of aha’s dolls can fit the idea of organic heart?

— (“pristine white complete masks” is interesting as well, since it gives a specific, sterile color to the whole ordeal. it really reminds me of the gray-white hair hidden at the bottom of sampo’s blue, as well as the muted grays of his outfit below the jacket. perhaps he’s simply tried to paint over his “base model”.)

— the “stuffed toys” angle is further supported by the reward for this option, which is, as you may have guessed, cosmic fragments. (as in, the same cosmic fragments you receive from the aha stuffed toy occurrence.)

— broken mask: last on the list, the fool describes the broken mask as a “bitter and depressed collection item” who caused the kuvida nebula to become a “dead zone” due to flipping the dichotomy of truths and lies. the option says it will give us a three-star scepter, but the jumbled text gives us a “shining trapezohedron die” instead.

— i’ll cut to the chase: i’m 99.9% sure this is about sampo.

— one, the “bitter and depressed collection item” not only references the intact aha stuffed toy group from the last joke, but specifies the words “bitter” and “depressed” to be unique to this singular collection item, much like sampo’s “betrayal” and “hate” motifs.

— two, “dim and broken mask” may refer to whatever mask shenanigans sampo has going on via sparkle in penacony’s trailblaze quest. also, the fact that sampo has broken heart motifs and tries to give the fools a wide berth.

— three, “a liar with negative credit.” i repeat, a liar with negative credit. simple, easy. sampo lies. sampo’s profession revolves around credits. sampo hates owing people things. sampo likely has negative credit. (this may refer to status, monetary funds, or power. or all of it!)

— four, “that person.” interesting deflection. interesting lack of pronouns. interesting vague, “you might know this person” energy similar to the “entity” in curio hacker. i know what you are trying to hide from us star rail :)

— five, “inflation engine.” once again, a reference to monetary processes.

— six, “if everything that comes out of your mouth is viewed as a lie, then truth will replace the value of lies.” on a simple level, this references sampo’s propensity for lying and his need to find workarounds to keep the effect of his schemes the same. on a deeper level, it may have something to say about his intelligence and cunning ability to get what he wants. this isn’t a sampo who tells the truth out of some attempt at pure goodness, but a sampo who caused an entire area to become a “dead zone” because he realized “hey, if they all think i’m lying, i’ll just tell the truth and it’ll have the same effect!”. while there’s the possibility “kuvida nebula” was an awful, abhorrent place that deserved to be swindled, there’s also the chance it wasn’t.

— huge fan of this for sampo, who i want to succeed in all of his endeavors, but not a great way to prove his innocence in court. also, “kuvida nebula” may be a great place to look out for future references of in-game.

— the aforementioned quote also implies that sampo telling the truth may not be an entirely good thing; it can be easy to think, especially with the mr. cold feet event coming up, that him being honest with us (and the trailblazer) is a step in the right direction, but… well… let’s just remember what happened to kuvida.

— moving on, i believe this “broken mask” sampo joke is meant to directly mirror and contrast the “intact mask” of the other aha stuffed toys. as mentioned in other analyses, i believe sampo may have been abandoned or discarded as an experiment or broken goods. if that’s the case, these two mask jokes being part of the same option pair makes sense — much like the other pairs, these are two different modes of existence that contrast with each other, one being fun and straightforward, while the other is darker and more complex.

— additionally, the garbled text makes a comeback, and i believe this misspelling (all the misspellings) are intentional. every single garbled text option is a lie; every single garbled text option does not give what it says it will. the first two give negative curios, and this one gives:

— shining trapezohedron die. this curio replaces all current curios with random ones. very elation-aligned, in my opinion, since the elation path seems to be very focused on chaos and “randomness.” the only reason i can think of that the sampo option would “surprise” us with this curio in particular is the randomness of elation itself. if sampo is aligned on a deeper level with the elation — such as being an emanator — this seems like something “random” he might do in conjunction with the overall path. additionally, it may be something similar to his “surprise present” burst, with the implications being 1. a present (something new, something unique) and 2. a surprise (something random you couldn’t have predicted).

— story. the die’s story itself is also very interesting. much like curio hacker’s curios, it focuses on experimentation, combination, and even paradox. it has “irregular sides” and “a wondrous light that twirls unrestrained within it.” the word “unrestrained” catches my attention, as despite being trapped within a physical object, an immeasurable power still rests within. in addition, this die is “said to be the seal of a horrible and indescribable evil god,” which interests me as to why it is given in sampo’s option. i wonder if the die, like curio hacker’s curios, is meant to convey something about sampo’s existence, or even be a stand-in for the man himself.

— in this case, aha may be the “horrible” god described, as from the dolls’ perspective aha must surely be “evil.” much of what we’ve seen so far paints aha as somewhat cruel and twisted in their jokes, anyways.

— the die must also, specifically, not be touched in dark places. the story itself details a few people who did not believe this “myth,” and stayed with the die in a dark room. apparently, the light within the die “cannot be blocked out,” which created the “shining trapezohedron die paradox.” the light, in my opinion, may be synonymous with elation or path power, something that aha may have personally bestowed upon sampo. since it cannot be diminished, it seems to be a factor of sampo’s creation or rise to emanatorhood; the elation he was “gifted” with from the beginning cannot be taken away or smoothed over no matter how hard he might try.

— “you cannot prove something that cannot be proven.” this is the line the story ends with, and i find it very fitting with sampo’s existence. since the sentient doll from aha stuffed toy is said to be a secret only aha knows, i interpret this line as being relevant to the fact no one else knows about sampo’s creation. perhaps there is something that “cannot be proven” about sampo’s creation or reason for existence, something that aha is able to make sure no one else knows through godlike means. just speculation, though!

— overall, the die still fits in with sampo on a broader level, like with the unrestrained power trapped within a small form and the mention of gods and specific circumstances where you shouldn’t interact.

— it’s also important to note that sampo’s option in the occurrence is the only fake text one that does not give only negative curios — the die is a regular curio, and may give normal curios as much as it may give negative ones. i think this ties back to how much of a wildcard sampo can be, either helping or harming at a moment’s notice. at least it’s better than sparkle’s, though, which only gives negative curios.

— as for the text itself, i believe those options are meant to show the more duplicitous, darker side of the fools, and by extension the elation. the first options are confident, opulent, pristine, while the second, chaotic text options are angry, lost, and filled with dead zones. it’s no wonder why those second options seem more in line with the randomness of elation, closer in status to the unpredictability of their aeon; the elation itself may have a rotting core. and poor sampo is just there, caught in the middle of it.

— “what an unfunny joke,” the fool ends with. aha ends with. maybe they’re right. maybe the joke was a bad idea. maybe it went too far from the beginning. maybe it was cruel. and maybe, just maybe, sampo’s suffering wasn’t all that funny in the first place.

— alright, that’s all i have! gonna wring aha by the neck like a snake hehehe (except i’m not because that’s exactly what they’d want me to do) :3 i’d love to hear others’ thoughts in the comments, as well as any theories surrounding sampo or the masked fools !! :)

© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[kragehund-est]

ive been like demonically horny lately and also eating insane amounts of cheese. the implications of this are as staggering as they are obvious in hindsight.

[huesofvioletandpurple]

on the topic of MonoTV seeming to be weirdly caring and remorseful, especially towards Teruko, here's something I've been thinking about a lot since the episode came out: why did it stop Teruko's execution when Levi intervened

I'm not saying that to criticise this writing choice—in fact, it's the opposite. the implications of it on MonoTV's character staggers me. like okay, its main purpose is to continue the killing game until the death of every participant. its secondary purpose is to perform the role of a villain. yet when Levi threw himself in front of the machine gun for Teruko, it stopped, because he "wasn't the intended target", giving way for a VERY SLIM miracle that would save Levi's life. and it said it did that to make Levi "act as a warning to those who break the rules"

what was stopping it from killing Levi fully and then continue on with gunning down Teruko.

genuinely, wouldn't it accelerate the primary goal of MonoTV ? that way, (ideally) four students would've died in one day, and even if Teruko survived. well. that's still three people !! and it would also fulfil its secondary purpose of being the villain of the TV show, because it would've just machine-gunned two of the students dead in front of everybody. yes, it was cruel when it stretched out the time of Ace's execution so that the elevator doors wouldn't open fast enough for Levi to get treatment. but why even open up the chance for a miracle when its purpose is to kill every student, y'know !!

alongside MonoTV's strange phrasing in its scene with Teruko at the end that implies it can feel guilt over its actions, I also believe that "making an example out of Levi was enough" is kind of an excuse. since violently killing Levi and Teruko outright would've also warded the rest of the cast off from breaking the rules methinks. but if it is making an excuse, that means it doesn't want to kill Levi and Teruko and yet believes it must fulfil its purpose anyway. and like ?? HUH ???? the fucking IMPLICATIONS OF THAT GOING FORWARD ????

why did XF-Ture program MonoTV with guilt. why did they just keep that in its default personality drivers. grips this robot by the screen. what the fuck is up with you.